A Fallen Angel
by Melly1
Summary: ***Last Chapter Up***Taking revenge on a child.
1. Losing an angel and a mind

Sleeping. Dreaming. Living.  
  
The small and delicate features send warmth through my body. Quietly she sleeps, unaware of the world around her. The intricate blanket, passed down from generation to generation lightly lay out on top of her. The tiny fingertips gripped the edge of it. I reached out and ran a finger over her small hand, the softness and warmth filling my soul with despair and angst.  
  
She had taken his place. The house busied around for her, the new little princess, as if she were something special. No one cared to remember, as if his existence, as brief as it was, meant nothing. Of course I acted okay and happy with it, what else could I do, but now I was going to take revenge. She didn't deserve to be here.  
  
Carefully, I walked out of the room and looked around, no one in Piper's room. Looking out in to the hallway I found no one in sight there either, good the coast was clear.  
  
Walking back into the room I closed the door behind me and made sure to turn off the baby monitor. Again I approached the crib and peered inside. She was still sleeping, just the way she had been moments before. Gently I lifted the pillow from under her head and placed it over her face.  
  
Instantly she awoke, her small hands loosing grip of the blanket and flailing around. Her tiny legs pushing the air as if doing so would remove the blockade which was leaving her without air.  
  
Harder and harder I pushed the pillow, making sure there was no possible entry way of air.  
  
This was the way it should be, she shouldn't be here. She didn't deserve it!! She was taking his place and that wasn't right. He had lived as much a life as her. Okay well maybe not as much, but she still couldn't be here. The earth didn't want her, didn't need her.  
  
Her hands went into fists one more time and then the fist slowly got loose and her arms and legs went limb.  
  
Holding it down another second I made sure the job was done.  
  
Screaming. Crying. Dying.  
  
Removing the pillow I gently placed it back under her head, her blue face staring up at me. I closed her eyes, laid the blanket back on her and turned the baby monitor back on.  
  
Then I opened the door and left. 


	2. Thinking

My clean hands were now dirty.  
  
Walking into my room I made my way over to the bed and plopped down on it. Listening intently I could hear the birds chirping and the wind blowing the tree's branches against the window. The constant tick as they slapped the glass following the rhythm within my head. Listening some more I heard the deadly sound of fresh death.  
  
I remember having heard that sound right after Prue died. As usual Piper had ruined it with her horrible shrieks and sobs. I on the other hand didn't cry, just listened. It was as if I could hear the angels welcoming her into their loving arms. But now the sound was different.  
  
Now the deceased was not rising with the angels, but falling with the devil. Of course the heavens would cry for her, beg for her to come with them, but that wasn't where she was meant to be. She had taken his place and wasn't about to rain on his heavenly parade. The heavens could only hold one of them and he was the one they would choose.  
  
Turning over I looked at the clock and noticed it had already been ten minutes since I had killed her. By now she was surely on her way to her final destination.  
  
I wondered how he was feeling right now, knowing the act I had taken for him. I pictured him smiling down at me and it made me happy. He would go and tell his father, I was sure of it. Running as fast as he could, almost to the point of tripping over his loose shoe laces, once he got there he would put his hands on his knees and take a few deep breathes before venting off to his father. Cole would laugh and tell him to slow down, being that he's such a good boy he'd start again, this time making sure Cole was paying attention. Upon hearing the news Cole would be thrilled and arrange for a party to be held at their magnificent palace up in the sky. And they'd wait until nightfall, when they knew it was safe to enter my head and talk to me. We'd spend the whole night laughing and having a grand time until the damn alarm clock would ring and rip me from my family.  
  
Thinking about the magical evening I'd be having tonight left me longing for night to fall.  
  
Out of my daydream I fell as I heard the sound of footsteps. I was unaware of whose they were, but I braced myself anyway.  
  
And as if I had planned it, moments later came an ear piercing scream followed by many more continuous footsteps. In order to appear as if I had no clue what was going on I too ran out of my room, a fake mask of worries plaguing my face.  
  
Upon entering the room I found Piper sprawled out on the floor of the nursery screaming and pounding. Leo tried to approach her, but he knew it was impossible. All he could do was fall to the floor along with her, both mourning the loss of their beloved daughter. The one they had tried so hard to conceive and then as if a miracle sent from God himself had suddenly been presented to them.  
  
I felt Paige's presence next to me and I turned to look at her. Her eyes held tears that were threatening to fall. And as one single tear fell down her face she asked the question I had been waiting to hear.  
  
"How did this happen?"  
  
I thought about telling her the truth for a split second, but knew I couldn't. So I did the only thing I could, I lied.  
  
A/N: Hey guys! Okay this project is meant as a little something so it won't go into a whole lot of chapters. Oh and let me let you all know that I have nothing against Piper and her soon to come baby, in fact I'm ecstatic. However, I really thought this concept would make an awesome story. Yeah and one more thing, please read and review! As for Silent Worries, Killer Tears I hope to wrap it up by late February (key word: hope, LOL). I'm just losing inspiration for that story so I'd really appreciate it if you guys told me where you think I should go with it. The next chapter will be a date between Dr. Cohen and Piper and the chapter following that one I hope to make Paige's wedding. Confused? If you are then you probably haven't read the story so ya better go and get reading. And I better stop talking so that you actually can so okay I say goodbye and leave you with theses words: READ AND REVIEW PLEASE!!!! 


	3. Saying Goodbye

Walking around the cemetery I do everything possible to stall my entrance to the funeral. I don't want to attend. It's just more dark feelings, more reminders that I did it. I felt guilty for a while, but only a little. As they paramedics took her small body away, Piper hysterical on the couch, Leo trying to comfort her to no avail. Paige and I just stood off in the corner, unable to do much. Piper didn't want us near here and we appeared to be too personally shocked to do much anyway. Or at least Paige did, I was secretly going over what I had done, retracing my steps, hoping that I had left everything clean of my residue. I wanted no one to know I had done anything. If they were to find out, well I didn't even want to think of what would happen.  
  
Coming out of my flashback I find myself in front of a large maple tree. Alone in the empty field it sits, only to be admired by some. Mostly people like me, who care enough to notice the little things. I look at the tree, admire its leaves as they sway in the breeze, it's calmness. The feeling is wonderful and I know this is where I want to be when it ends. My son, husband and I will be buried here, under this tree. Sure, their tombs will hold empty bodies, but it'll all be the same. And we won't mind that we're underground, we'll freely accept the insects that crawl among us. They'll become our new friends. We won't be like the bratty little princess who was to rest in luxury. Piper and Leo had insisted on placing her next to her Aunt Prue, in the space that had once been reserved for one of The Charmed Ones, just in case they were ever confronted with the need for it again. However, now it belonged to the princess. And the whole family swore that Aunt Prue would come down from the heavens today and reach her warm hand down to accept the little girl into her new home. I on the other hand thought differently. Prue wasn't going to reach for her, she was too busy taking care of Ben because Cole was out seeing to it that Melinda would end up where she deserved to be.  
  
Once again approaching the church I casually walk in during the middle of the service. Many people turn around and give me nasty looks, as if to say that I should have arrived there earlier. Not caring though, I continue to walk towards the front of the church and take my seat next to Paige.  
  
"Phoebe! Where were you? The service started 15 minutes ago!" Paige whispered aggravated.  
  
"Sorry, I went for a walk and kind of lost track of time."  
  
Not wanting to bother with me and cause a scene Paige turned her attention back to the priest.  
  
After what seemed like 2 hours the priest allowed family and friends to approach the coffin and say their goodbyes. Piper had argued the night before that she wanted a closed coffin, but Leo insisted and went on to state that the funeral agency would make sure it wasn't evident that she had been suffocated. So, reluctantly Piper agreed. Yet walking up to the coffin was not an easy task for her. Hesitantly she approached it, with Leo standing strongly beside her. Then with a slight push from Leo they peered inside.  
  
A loud blood curdling moan escaped Piper's lips as she fell to the floor for what had to have been the twentieth time since the afternoon of her death. Continuously she screamed, giving the guests a show they'd never forget. All around me I could hear 'oh the poor dear' and 'loosing your child like that, what a shame.' Leo could sense all eyes on them and not wanting to make any more of a scene or cause any more rumors he gently lifted Piper up off the floor. Heavily she leaned against him as he led her out of the church. Later I heard from some of the guests that she had a panic attack while outside and was the reason for they had left the church early.  
  
I still wanted to see her though, regardless of the recent event. I made my way up and looked in. Leo was right, they had made her look normal. Her little cheeks were rosy and she was wearing the cutest pink dress. Seeing her like this brought something out that I hadn't felt since I found out I was pregnant with Ben. It was an incredible love and happiness. I had missed the feeling and it felt good to have it flow through my soul once again. However, it only lasted momentarily. Suddenly I was beginning to regret what I had done. I was supposed to be a Charmed One and for as long as I can remember our job had been to protect the innocents. Now here I was looking at the dead body of my niece, an innocent, who I had killed. I had gone completely against my duty. I could have stayed there for hours, just looking at her angel like qualities, but I knew there was something I had to do. I had killed her and now I was to pay.  
  
As I left the church, I made sure to say a few words to Prue.  
  
Hey, if you can hear me please take care of her and tell her I'm sorry. 


	4. The Letter

Sitting at my bureau I took out the necessary items to write a letter and sat down to do just that.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
  
  
Dear Piper, Paige and Leo;  
  
I know a lot has happened in the past few days and that what I'm about to do will just make it worse, but it's what must be done. You all wondered who had taken your precious angel from your grasp. Piper you yelled at God, at the Elders, but you forgot to yell at the one person who actually deserved it, me. Uh-huh, I killed Melinda.  
  
I killed her because I hated her, because she stole the space that deserved to be Ben's. Who's Ben you ask? Well if you had cared enough you would have known it was my son. Yes, the one the Seer took from me, the one who was killed. You see even though I only held him within my womb for a month or two those months were the happiest of my life. I was overjoyed to know there was a little someone living within me. And to have him taken away was the worse feeling in the world. Trying to overcome the pain I refrained from interacting with you guys for the weeks that followed his death. Yet once I was ready to let out my feelings and take comfort in your soothing words Piper announced her blissfully awaited pregnancy.  
  
Now what was I to do? I couldn't very well talk about the morbid events of my life when everyone walked around the Manor in a state of complete happiness. And for nine months I hated you Piper. You got to experience that joy I had once felt long ago, but your joy was magnified by a thousand. You actually got to feel your infant move around in your stomach and you were able to proudly display to the world your new status as mother. I couldn't stand you Piper and I wanted you to feel what I had felt, to know what it was like to lose a child.  
  
Remember that one night when you were going to the club and you tripped down the stairs. Everyone had dashed off to the hospital, hoping that the baby was still alive, that is except me. I was at work and for some reason my phones were busy. Did you all think that was pure coincidence? Of course not, you see I had been the one to trip you and being too ashamed to see you I waited till I got home that night from work to "hear about what happened." That had been my first attempt to kill the baby. Unsuccessful I did attempt many times after. How about the time you got sick from that ice tea or when you swore that in the middle of the night someone had tried to strangle you? Those were all me. Each attempt had failed, but each time I got smarter. Eventually I decided to wait for conception. However, I couldn't make it too obvious, so I waited, two weeks to be exact. I just causally walked into her room and suffocated her with her own pillow. I was relieved to have her dead and couldn't have cared less that Piper and Leo were distressed. But today I saw her for the first time since I had killed her. Her pretty pink dress placed on her cold body, color gently showing through her once blue complexion. It made me depressed. I had finally realized that what I did was wrong.  
  
Now my body is torn inside. My emotions being pulled every which way. It hurts to eat, to sleep, to talk, to breathe. I can't go on like this, it's only been a measly six hours since I saw her and already I can't stand myself. I look in the mirror and see the face of a murderer. I try to wash my hands of the dirt, but it's forever there. No amount of washing will ever remove it. So you see I must go. I hear voices in my head calling for me. Prue. Cole. Ben. Melinda. They all call me. I'm almost amazed that Melinda would want me, but she, just like her parents, has a warm heart that forgives easily. She knows what I did was wrong and she says she misses you terribly, but she's okay up there. It's getting hard for me to concentrate, they drown out everything that goes on around me, even the thoughts within my head.  
  
Piper, I love you. I'm so sorry for all the pain I caused you and Leo. Please see it in your heart to forgive me. Thanks for always being there and helping me through life. I'll miss you greatly. Never forget me.  
  
Paige, although I only knew you for a short time, you were wonderful. We shared many memories that I hope you will always remember. Take care of Piper okay. You and Leo will be all she has left. I love you babe!  
  
Leo, again I plead for you to forgive me. I was an idiot to do what I did. Take care of my sisters please and while you're at it, give Piper another baby. She deserves to experience that joy again. You both deserve a child. And make sure to tell them about their aunts, both Prue and I. Also tell them about Melinda. And if you feel you want to, tell them about Cole and Ben as well. But whatever you do just let them know of me, the good me, not the one you did these terrible things.  
  
To all of you, all I ask before I go is one thing. Please leave me next to the maple tree....  
  
I will love you all forever!  
  
~Phoebe  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Tears now streaming down my face I fold the letter and proceed to the bathroom. Placing the letter on top of the toilet I turn toward the sink and turn on the faucet. 


	5. The End

I look at myself in the mirror. My hairs in a messy bun and my clothes are arranged on my body haphazardly. The clothes had once been Cole's and I can still smell his scent in the fabric; soothing, calm. It helps to calm my nerves as I reach for the bottle I hid in the medicine cabinet.  
  
After searching for hours I had found a potion in the Book of Shadows that was meant to poison a demon. So once everyone was gone and Piper, Leo and Paige had retreated to their bedrooms I got to making it. Thankfully it didn't smell and no one became suspicious of anything.  
  
Now the green liquid sat in the small bottle. I looked at it intently for a few minutes, thinking. Was I really ready to do this? I knew I was, regardless of what my heart was saying.  
  
Taking a deep breath and swallowing down the lump in my throat I uncorked the bottle. Holding it inches from my mouth I was ready to drink it.  
  
'To my lost life.' I said out loud to myself and then I poured the liquid into my mouth.  
  
Its bitter taste floated in my mouth and I felt the urge to throw it right back up, however I didn't. I let it slide down my mouth and run throughout my intestines. It felt as if the evil within me were being vanquished and I began to feel free. Then suddenly the feeling stopped. No longer was the bubbly sensation there, the bitterness was gone and I was left with nothing.  
  
It hadn't done its job. And thinking back I should have figured that, being that the Seer had fed me poison back when I was the Queen of the Underworld and it had failed to do much to me either. Thinking quickly I began to make up another plan of action.  
  
I scanned the bathroom and my eyes landed on Leo's razor. I already knew how to remove the blade, but was I ready to watch myself bleed to death? Before my eyes flashed an image of Melinda and I knew this had to be done. The evil ran through my blood and the only way to get rid of the evil was to get rid of the blood that carried it within me.  
  
Picking up Leo's razor I fumbled to get the blade out. It was this new high tech crap and I couldn't figure out how to do it. Giving up I threw the razor across the bathroom floor, smashing it to pieces when it hit the wall. Unfortunately the blade didn't pop out though, leaving me helpless again.  
  
I stood in front of the mirror, crying. Looking up I was met face to face with myself. This was the face of a killer. One who killed without compassion. I hated myself. I was the ultimate evil and deserved to die. This was the punishment I was to get for having done what I did. My life had been horrible. Always filled with problems and death. Everyone I ever loved died and it was all because of me.  
  
The anger that ran through me was almost as powerful as the evil that was already there. Its wrath burned inside my soul. I couldn't even stand the sight of myself any longer, I was worthless.  
  
Before I knew it my fist came in contact with the mirror sending the glass throughout the bathroom and my hand. The blood trickled down my knuckles, releasing the evil. I guess I was going to be able to cut myself after all. Sitting down on the floor I began to fumble through the glass in search of the sharpest piece. Upon finding it I bring it near my cheek, just to test it out. Almost instantly I can feel the cold liquid that is my blood.  
  
I run my finger along the new cut, I feel the blood smearing on my face. Taking my finger from my cheek I bring it to my lips, tasting it. It's bitter yet sweet. I know it means death, yet somehow it's like a rebirth. I want to quicken the process so I again bring the glass towards my skin, this time it cuts my stomach, the one that had once held my son. I remember everything about him and die to re-experience all that is him again.  
  
For the final time I bring the glass towards my body, this time cutting my wrist, the left one. The hand that is meant to hold the key to your heart, upon a finger on that hand is to lay the symbol of an everlasting love with someone. For me that someone had been Cole. Missing him greatly I know that in only a few more moments I will once again fall into his loving embrace.  
  
Lying down on the floor, among the glass, I feel the remaining pieces cutting into my back. Slowly my eyes begin to close as my head fills with clouds. I hear someone approaching, their footsteps being magnified a thousand times. I sense their presence around me, their hand upon my undamaged wrist. Silence, as they try to find my pulse. Then I disappear..... * * *  
  
Seconds later I open my eyes expecting to see the pearly white gates, instead I see nothing. Darkness fills my presence, enabling me to even see the hand before my face.  
  
All around me there's a dark presence, one that is felt but not heard nor seen. I reach my invisible hands out in an attempt to touch it, but I'm unsuccessful. I feel alone and helpless. I scream out to anyone, hoping someone is listening.  
  
In response all I get is silence, the same silence I heard before I left. Had I left? I replay the events that had occurred not too long ago. I remember blood and then silence. I thought I had died, but was I really alive? Could I be in a hospital, in an unconscious realm?  
  
Suddenly, I feel warmth. The once cold darkness that filled my presence is replaced. I see Prue, Cole, Ben, Melinda, Grams and my mother dancing around in heaven. They all look so happy. As if on cue however Melinda stops. She turns to face me, her delicate brown eyes brimming with tears. She begins to walk towards me, extending her hand. I reach for it, but my hand goes right through hers, as if I were invisible. Letting out a sigh she comes closer to me, almost as if she were going to whisper in my ear.  
  
Then the image begins to drift away, like a distant dream you long to hang onto. I call for her, to no avail. And as the image leaves my sight I feel a gentle breeze pass by my ear and I hear her.  
  
Softly she says:  
  
Death is the ultimate evil.  
  
A/N: Hey, this was the last chapter! Thank you all for reviewing, especially CFan2005 who let everyone know that my story was good and deserved being read! Please check out my other stories! I'm going to try to finish up Silent Worries, Killer Tears and then maybe I'll restart Rebels, since a lot of you seem to be reviewing for that story. Anyway, thank you everyone!!! I loved this story and hope that you all enjoyed it as much as I did!!!!!!! 


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